In the end, still cant manage it well... Pathetic!!! I need a solution!

I realized, doesnt mean all...

I realized, is my attitude and character problem. Nowonder they are leaving me 1 by 1. ok, i accept now. I guess this is fated anyway, or maybe i just not ment to be yet at the moment... i dont know, dun wanna know. Leave it for up there to judge...

21 years of my life...

Today is my 21st birthday... Suppose to be really grand? i dun care i dun want, i love it in simple... 2 hours passed, and im having isomnia.... Thinking, what i've archieve after living 21 years on earth? actually i cant think of anything of what i've archieve... Is that counted a loser? erm, nop, maybe my time is not now? or maybe i think too much? Anyway, happy birthday Jian Pin...

What am i in the relationship??

Erm.... yea, guess wad, im always a substitute for another person. Actually, i hate being in a relationship now, really hard to figure out what really a girls mind really work. im so confuse! Im weak, i can be in a deep shit for a relationship. Im stupid =) its a fact nia... I fell in love with her, but she's in a relationship, and im like more to her boyfriend.. As days comes by, i feel like im a substitute only, ONLY... What the fuck this should be... I hate relationship, i hope i'll choose not to love, and commit to myself.... FUCK LOVE!!!

Comment, readers will think im crazy...

Its been quite sometime?

If this blog were to be a premise, i guess it is full of dust and looks being abandoned? just randomly remembered i have a blog here... haha, im just lazy at first so yea, now im back =) phew gotta get my ass clean up first ^^

My family members now all tend to take advantages... duno wad will happen next..

I accept wad is fated.. maybe it doesnt belongs to me!!! i dun care now, i dun hope now... but i know, what im doing... i dont judge ppl anymore, because nothing in this world is right or wrong, they have their motive, attitude, experience and courage...

Smile?? yes, im smilling...

4 hours more to presentation...

I cant sleep, keep thinking of the FOA... To resit or not? i duno, they are risk... It could be internal risk or external risk, wad shall i do now?? Put a bullet in my head and suicide? Or let myself go with heavyer burden for 2nd year?? Shit man, i hate this kind of challenge... Fuck dup challenge... If grade drops, im finished... sigh

This call friendship?

If u only find me or visit me when u need help? k, juz turn around and go home... Sick of such ppl

Feel pissed, u still treat me like a baby...

I love my parents, but sometimes, i do hate them very much!!! im 20 now la for heaven sake!!! Dun treat me like a baby pls... iishh

This sem, final paper, final hope and final chance...

Been pushing myself all out, but, juz a lil of outcome results... Pls dun ask me for game, pls dont ask me for doing wasting time stuff!!! Juz for this sem. the more i think about my life further, the more fear i have... I really dont know how to really start... I have a feeling, tarc is killing ppl slowly, step by step... I can say it this way is because, how much effort i putted in, in the end juz deserve pass? fail? C-? i've enough of C-... If tarc wanna kill me, kill me right now pls... no dragging pls!!! All i want is just a diploma, a DIPLOMA... i wan to have atleast something that can make my parents proud, a graduate pic of me with my parents Picture hang at my living room's wall... Is that very dam hard?

Ka ninia la TARC...